Long and overdue...BUT NEW NEWS!

Hello people!

Long and overdue…I know!! But I have a few things to report in...make sure to read to the end!...

Radiation

Radiation was the month of April. It is all over now, which means I am officially DONE with all my treatment. No more cancer treatments…PERIOD! My skin is quite burnt in the radiated areas, but – thank goodness – no open blisters. As far as fatigue…during treatment there was a definite onset of fatigue. Everyday around lunch time I was extremely tired and some days would take a nap. Now that I am finished with the radiation I do have some fatigue, but it is starting to subside (I think).Definitely hard to fall asleep at night too.  I have heard from people that radiation can affect you and/or give you fatigue for years after treatment. That just sounds bonkers! Not saying that it is not true for others….however I just can’t allow that to be me. I want and need my energy back…and I will do what it takes to get it back!

Exercise and weight

So there is good news and bad news….

During chemo, surprisingly I did not gain any weight – well that was until towards the end. Most people gain weight with the R-CHOP treatment because it has a hefty dose of steroids that are taken each treatment period. I felt lucky in the beginning because I did not gain weight…..but now ( and it started the last month of treatment) my body has changed. The confusing part was that when I got on the scale I was the same weight that I was before, however my clothes were not fitting the same. After speaking with experts on the subject, the simple truth of ‘body composition’ was revealed to me. I no longer had the muscles I used to have, and those muscles have been replaced….Replaced by what, you ask!? With fat. Ugh! Horrible….just horrible…

So my weight is the same, but the way my body is composed has changed.

As for exercise, I made the effort to go walking and go to yoga practice here and there for most of the treatment time. It wasn’t a bunch but I was trying to keep up with some activity. Towards the end of chemo treatment, I realized that I was not able to get through a yoga class any more. I went, and I somehow managed, yet it was a huge struggle….to find my center, to keep my balance, to not allow my ego to override, to breathe through my nose… I was truly struggling and realized that I was not able to go to yoga for a while.

So in the month of March, I was done with treatment and tired of laying around – and knew that I needed to start doing some exercise again. All I did was walk – almost daily. I took the dogs out, which they loved and I walked anywhere from 1.5 miles to 5.5 mile, but most of the time walking roughly 3 miles. No change in body composition.

In April (this month) I have been tracking and doing interval training 5-6 times a week. I am following Adrian Bryant from www.nowloss.com. Most days I do 1-2 interval trainings in the morning, and 1-2 at night.

Good news is I feel like I am starting to get my energy back, my balance back, and start to feel muscles again.

Bad news is…although I have been trying to LOSE weight, I have not lost weight (at least and still) on the scale…which is highly frustrating because I have been watching the calories and exercising almost every day.  I definitely need to measure myself. I think I have started to lose inches in the waist and arms, but cannot truly know unless I measure.

Talking to the doc, he says this could be because of a few possible things: may be steroids I took, may be that my body is “happy” now and is sucking up everything/anything I eat…

The fact is something has got to give soon, I will continue the exercising and calorie watch and hopefully things will change for the better soon. I just need to find my patience!

 

Hair Growth

My hair is FINALLY starting to grow back in. I was worried there for a bit that I was going to be one of the very small percentage of people that hair NEVER grows back. I was just being impatient…Finally 5 weeks after my last chemo treatment I started to sprout! Now, daily I can see a change. I am just finishing up week 8…and although I am not quite ready to go out and about into the world with no wig, it is getting much closer.

 

Follow-up Appointments

Yesterday, I had my 2 month post-chemo treatment appointment with my oncologist. He asked how I felt and checked for bumps – and all seems good and moving the right direction. All I have now is follow ups with the doctor every 3 months, and every 6 months I will have a CT Scan to make sure all is continuing to be clear! My initial CT scan will be in months from now. That will be scary…

This will last for 3 years, than I will get scanned once a year for the last 2 years….and then…at the 5 year mark, I will be considered CURED.

 

Cancer free January 25, 2013… CURED January 25, 2018

 

Last but not least…

NEW WEBSITE

So, I will be the first to recognize that I was NOT the best at keeping this blogsite up-to-date. Most of the time it was because I didn’t want to look at the computer screen light or didn’t have the energy to concentrate on writing something articulate…blah blah blah, excuses – right?! But the news is…I will be starting a WEBSITE! Yaya!!!

Currently the website is under construction. I have been working on it for the last few weeks, and hope to get it up and running by mid-May. All these posts will be transferred there, as well as I will have updates from the last few months, hair growth pics, and my status moving forward. So, there will be news on me…but that will not be the main purpose of this site. The site’s main goal is to speak about, educate, and bring more awareness to EARLY DETECTION. Early detection was truly one of the main components that saved my life. I could be in a very different situation right now, if it wasn’t for that. That will be my message….but more so the goal is to get everyone talking about it through this site.

So stay tuned…within the next month you should see this site information come your way. J

Love ya all~

Bee

Happy Heart Day People!

Happy Valentine Day ya’all!

So long and over due for sure. I figured I would take some time to update the blog. Sooooo much has happened since I last wrote!!

The Good News:

First and foremost, the good news! I am officially FREE OF CANCER! On January 25^th, I went in for my follow up PET scan and within hours I received results back from my doctor that read that there is no signs of the original disease. I was flabbergasted to say the least. For one, I did not realize I was going to get results back so quickly, and secondly I was just amazing that I had cancer and now…I don’t. I am officially in REMISSION. Whoo hoo…

 

Wigs:

So, I said I would write a little but about my wigs. So I found this great place in LA. Specically in LA fashion/garment district. I was able to get human hair wigs for under $100 and human hair blend wigs for roughly $30 a piece!! Those ones wear faster however worth buying a few and just switching them out.

I find that the shorter (in the back), like an A-line cut, worked best for me. The hair pieces I have had tend to get tangled in the back so it was harder to manage. With the short hair in the back I do not have to worry about that and that made it so much more comfortable!

I did buy a few different colors, but I do tend to wear the same lighter one. The darker and red ones just don’t always fit for me… so they have been on the wig heads for the most part! Haha

 

Symptoms and Status:

So even though I am cancer free (yay!) I still have to go through the rest of my treatment protocol. I had my PET scan after the 4^th treatment, however the protocol calls for 6 treatments + radiation for a month. I had my 5^th treatment on Feb 4^th and my last will be on the 25^th of February. I am grateful it is almost over. I will have to wait about 3-4 weeks and then I will begin radiation treatment. Once a day, 5 days a week for a month. During the mouth of March, my hair should start growing back.....I CAN NOT WAIT.....I miss my hair so much! ugh!!! One of the hardest part because it is a physical attribute and is something everyone can see. Anyways, I will be ecstatic to see my hair growth very soon now!!!

Its kinda funny how it works out. I am now cancer free, however this has been the most trying part of this whole experience physically and mentally. First off, after the 4^th treatment I had gotten little sick with a cold, which last the whole 3 weeks, and made it very difficult for me to do so many things. I felt ill, nauseous, dizzy, cold, chills, and mostly fatigue. I like to call it EXTREME FATIGUE. Cause I have never, ever….ever felt this tired in my life. Then, going in for my 5^th treatment I was full of anxiety. I was yuck-tified (a barbaraism) that I had to go in with no cancer in my body and get toxins pumped through me for 6 hours. I know…I know…this is a necessary evil, however it just plays with your mind. I felt sick to my stomach the entire day pretty much plus the week after. The first week after treatment 5, I was in bed pretty much the entire days. Sleep, get up, eat, lay down, sleep, get up, eat, lay down repeat. It is the PITS, I tell you! I feel so blah and lazy. It is just not me.

When I have a “good day”, I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to be alive! That is the good out of this. I see and feel the difference, I appreciate life and wellness so much more on these days. I just want to skip and frolic!

The one thing I have to remember is to still take it easy and not waste myself. I am feeling good this week, for instance, so I decided to take a walk. The walk was refreshing and needed, however a bit too long. I was extremely tire just from the walk and was ready to be home. I still need to learn the balance.  I do, get so excited that I feel well I think I can do it all, but just walking is tiresome and takes an ample about of energy.

Symptoms are blah…they are getting worse. All the above I have written about:

EXTREME Fatigue : like no other, so I sleep a lot. Cannot even put into words how tired, tired can be.

Nausea: still have been able to keep everything down thank goodness. I find that eating a bagel for breakfast has really helped.

Neuropathy: in fingers and now in my palms. Still not in my feet. This may or may not go away the doc says

Mouth sores: ugh, got my first mouth sore and OMG!!!!! It hurt so badly. I have a mouth wash to help with it and it went away after about 3 days but it was so painful and hurt to eat. I hate them. I think I may be getting some more here again, so I am washing out my mouth constantly with salt water and gargling.

Chills/Flu like symptoms: this still happens the first week

Muscle sore/Body Aches: this is attributed to the Neupogen shots I take. They make you have muscles sores, all the bones in your body ache tremendously. You just feel sick all over and sensitive to the touch. I feel bruised all over. This wears off for me after about 3-4 days the first week.

 

Ok, that’s enough for now. I posted this on my Facebook and I will post it here. This is my thank you to all of you….so many wonderful people in my life. J

Today I am grateful for the over abundance of love in my life! Thank you.

You all know who you are. I have had to endure some troubled waters but have gotten past the hardest part...I could not have done this without each and everyone one of you. Your thoughtful words, notes, emails, prayers, hand holds, kind thoughts, kisses, hugs, tears and laughter have carried me through. From of the bottom of my heart, thank you! Happy Heart Day. Xoxo

 

So, it is New Year’s Day – 50% down!

Oh so happy for 2013. 2012 was a whirlwind to say the least and I am quite fine with putting it behind me. I am still in good spirits and my mindset is set on being cancer free.

I am happy to report that I am now 50% done with my chemo treatments as of December 26, 2012!!! Whoo hoo!! I have 3 more treatments through Jan-Feb 2013 + 1 month of radiation in March. I go in for my 4^th treatment January  14, and then at the end of January I will get a followup PET scan to see where I stand. This scan will be after 4 chemo treatments, and to compare to my infected PET scan. Although nervous, I am really excited to get there. I am super anxious to see what my progress has been. In my mind, I am kicking this cancers a$$ - undoubtedly. I just don’t feel that there is any other way to it, but to beat it. So, I look forward to the proof.

How I have been….?

Although I am pretty positive and headstrong, I have had some side effects that I have dealt with. Here’s the downlow on the last few months…

1)      Neuropathy – this is the tingling or “pins in needles” in my fingertips. I have Grade I which means it is only in my finger tips and I can still use my fingers normally (i.e. like buttoning a shirt or picking up something small). I should not have to worry if it stays like this, which I hope, but if it gets to my feet or affects me holding on to things, there may be concern of permanent nerve damage. This is a known side effect for chemo patients. I suppose it isn’t as bad as having cancer.

2)      Hormonal changes – Boo…boo…BOO! Dealing with some acne, frustrating – it is the last thing I want to have to deal on top of everything else. Did go to the doctor and they had to give me a hormone pill to offset what the chemo was effecting. Doing my best to regulate it now, but the damage was done and it is taking longer than I am comfortable with to dissipate.  One day at a time…*deep breath*

3)      Muscle weakness and pains – I get this during the first week after treatment. I have to take these Neupogen shots which are basically white blood cell booster shots. They will help regulate the white blood cells in the body so one doesn’t get too weak. The side effect from this shot is the weakness in the bones and muscles. I didn’t realize what I was feeling was from the shots until this last time around. The best way to describe it is like I am bruised all over, so I am sensitive to the touch.

4)      Head pressure – I have had this after all of my treatments for days 1 through 3-5. Treatment 1 was bad, treatment 2 was worse, and treatment 3 was actually not so bad. It was lessened this last time around to my surprise. The pressure is what I would imagine a migraine would feel like, however I have never had a migraine myself. My head literally feels like it is going to explode; just pressure coming from all angles. Usually I just lay down and sleep or watch TV. I DO NOT move, that is the key…and it passes after a bit.

What keeps me positive…?

1)      Support – I have had an overabundance of support. It is fantastically ridiculous! I am over joyed and grateful. Having all my friends and family be here for me has been such a blessing. Just to name a few…

·         Staying at my brother’s and sister in law’s house has also been such a good thing for me. Being with my family and my little nephew has not allowed me to get distracted on the negative. I have constant interaction with someone on a daily basis. David, Candice, and Dylan are all positive influences in my life and just having the company has been so healing. Thank you!

·         I have had a number of people come to my treatments with me (you know who you are, thank you!). All the nurses and even other patients tell me how “popular” I am. Haha, I just thank them and smile. Pam Urry has been to every one of my treatments, and I know she plans on going to all the rest – constant love and support from her!

·         Kelly McCoy from Canada came to see me during the Christmas session. While she was here we got to shop and spend a lot of time with my family. She treated me like the same ol Bee – the only difference was that I was bald! She gave up her Christmas to spend it with me and I am so grateful. Love you friend.

 

2)      Working  - this has been important to me. It has been essential that I keep some normalcy in my life and not just feel like a sick person. Work does not have to define my life; however there is some stability there that I do not want to lose. Also I enjoy continuing to see and interact with my peers and co-workers.

3)      Hanging with friend, old and new – this has also been, I think, so healing for me. I make sure that I take the time to spend time away from home with friends. I have been able to shape closer bonds with some, be more present with others, and rekindle past connections – all have been a positive thing for me.

 

 

 

 

Goals moving forward…?

1)      Exercise  - this is approved by the doctor!

2)      Read more - nuff said

3)      Go to a Lymphoma group meeting – Honestly part of me does not have the urge to attend a support group meeting. I feel like I am mentally doing so well that I don’t need to go…yet, I have been told it is important to meet others that are dealing with the same situation as I am. So, I will go.

 

Happy New Year! Thank goodness we are moving forward.

I will write more about my baldness and wig-fiasco next time. Till then, peace out!

Hugs and love!